


The Road(trip) Home

by ChaoticFriendly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, If you're not already in love with sugawara koushi you're wrong, Light Angst, Light Smut, M/M, Oikawa is Oikawa, also sugawara's family, and a cat, and daichi's family, but the cat isn't important, chatfic, even smoller kagehina crumbs, i just like cats, i take no responsibility, idiots to lovers, it had to happen, look they're doing their best okay?, smol iwaoi crumbs, tanaka is a chaotic good, this isn't my fault, watch me make everyone fall in love with sawamura daichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27750136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticFriendly/pseuds/ChaoticFriendly
Summary: Suga plowed on, seemingly unaffected by any other memories of camp, though a warm tint kissed the fair skin of his face.“Oh come on, we loved training camp! Remember how Tsukishima, Kuroo, and Bokuto became unlikely friends?”“I don’t think Kuroo has ever madelikelyfriends,” Daichi grumbled---Daichi and Suga reminisce as they drive back to Miyagi for the holidays. But more than just old memories surface for the former co-captains.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 37
Kudos: 83





	1. Home for the Holidays

It’s a five and a half hour drive from Tokyo to Miyagi. Sure, there’s a train that they could take, but Daichi liked having his car when he was home – it made it easier to run errands for his mom. The yearly road trip itself was nearly sacred, too. Daichi always looked forward to the uninterrupted time with no work deadlines, only one dramatic phone call to Suga from Oikawa, and no sudden appearances by Tanaka– it was still a mystery _how_ he had gotten a spare key to their apartment. It was time he got to spend with his co–captain–turned–co–pilot, even if Suga barely spoke for the first hour.  
  
After all their life changes, from high school to now, some things remained the same. Of the two of them, Daichi was still the morning person, so he took the first driving shift. He hummed along to the corny old American Rock music – kept at a low volume – while Suga slowly sipped from a thermos of coffee and rubbed his eyes. On any given day in their apartment they’d spend the morning like this, where Daichi enjoyed the sunrise in quiet and Suga – if he was awake – tried to not hate him for that. However, considering Daichi was the one who made Suga’s coffee, it was half-assed irritation at best.  
  
The drive was easy enough. They’d gotten lucky with a clear, bright day despite the flurries of snow whipping around the car, and the sunrise had been a golden glow, washing the nearly empty road out in a haze of warm light and casting the scenery into stark relief. With all the peace and quiet of the morning, Daichi knew exactly when Suga was starting to wake up. The slurp of coffee, dramatic yawn, and sudden rustle of motion were warnings as his co–pilot – somewhat useless up to this point – shifted in his seat to look at Daichi directly.  
  
“Sawamura, are you ever going to listen to something from this country? Or this century?”  
  
He added an eye roll for effect. He didn’t mind the music, not really, but the deep buzz of Daichi’s humming was as warm and soothing as the coffee in his hands.  
  
“Oh, well good morning to you too, Sugawara, I see we’re starting off in fine form,” the pleasant baritone voice replied teasingly. “Like your K–pop obsession is so much better.”  
  
“Ew, my full name is not as nice sounding as yours, don’t do that. And you cannot tell me that Stay Gold doesn’t give you all the warm fuzzies,” Suga sniffed in disdain.  
  
He only got a low chuckle in response, but it was a sound that laid close to his bones and he smiled despite himself.  
  
Once thoroughly awake, the nostalgia of heading home wrapped around him like the scarf Daichi had swaddled around Suga’s neck before they left that morning. This was only the third year they’ve done this particular drive together, but it was the twelfth year that Daichi had been a part of Suga’s holiday memories. Ever since they had joined the boys’ volleyball club as first–years they had fit into each other's days seamlessly, like there had been a Daichi and Suga sized hole in the other’s life all along. And maybe there had been. It felt like most of Suga’s memories involved Daichi in some way, and the ones without him felt flatter.  
  
He turned in his seat more fully and faced Daichi with elbows propped against the center console, resting his head in his hands.  
  
“Dai, remember how tiny we were as first years?”  
  
Daichi eyed him sidelong for a moment before refocusing on the road, a small smile working its way up his lips.  
  
“Was I ever ‘tiny’? I remember you looked like a little angel with that giant smile and within minutes you had managed to befriend the scariest looking guy ever. I just felt like a dork next to you two.”  
  
The soft laugh from Suga coaxed the small smile on Daichi’s face to a full grin, the charming laugh always infectious. If anything, the way Suga’s eyes crinkled a little more at the edges made it all the more endearing.  
  
“You’ve always been a dork, can’t argue that.”  
  
“You wound me, Suga.”  
  
But the fair-haired man was off now, sprinting down memory lane like he had a race to win.  
  
“What about when we both failed our math exam after Spring Highs our first year? God, we were so pathetic. Oh, what about in second year when Tanaka and Noya tried to convince everyone to serve and spike with their opposite hand for a week to ‘toughen us up’?”  
  
Suga’s laugh suddenly cracked across the car, more like a cackle, the feeling like a lightning strike in Daichi’s veins.  
  
“Wait – wait,” he choked out, “you have to remember the wig incident in third year! I thought you were going to kill someone.”  
  
Daichi groaned. “Suga, can you please remember something not completely mortifying?”  
  
Suga tipped his head to the side, a look of thoughtfulness creasing his brow.  
  
“Well…” he drawled out, “there’s always the time I thought I was going to end up a single parent.”  
  
“Oh my _god_ , Suga, they’re not our kids and I literally only lost a tooth!”  
  
Suga’s glare almost looked serious. “You lost a _molar_ ,” he argued (like that was really any different), “and if they’re not our children then explain to me why you helped me send them care packages before every game during their third year?”  
  
Daichi’s mouth settled into a firm line, but Suga saw the twitch at the right corner and pushed the memory a step further. After all, it was no fun to revisit their past if Daichi wouldn’t come along with him.  
  
“They got you a #1 Dad mug for your birthday, Dai.”  
  
And then Daichi did laugh, the sound loud and rolling, washing over Suga in waves as his smile brightened fondly. Suga grinned victoriously before looking forward with feigned nonchalance to watch the road race under their tires.  
  
“Or if those are too painful, Dad–chi... there’s always all of our training camp memories.”  
  
“Suga, _why_.”  
  
Daichi meant to question the terrible nickname, but he also remembered every year of training camp all too well. There were memories they’d never spoken about, of waking up a little too close together and of legs or fingers twined together. His stomach flipped at the thought of talking about it now after all this time, but they had just been kids. It didn’t mean anything (because if it had, _something_ would have happened between them by now). His fingers gripped the steering wheel imperceptibly tighter, wondering if this was a moment they’d – _he’d_ been thinking about for years. He had been thinking about Suga far too much, for far too long.  
  
But Suga plowed on, seemingly unaffected by any other memories of training camp, though a warm tint kissed the fair skin of his face.  
  
“Oh come on, we loved training camp! Remember how Tsukishima, Kuroo, and Bokuto became unlikely friends?”  
  
“I don’t think Kuroo has ever made _likely_ friends,” Daichi grumbled, the irritation partly real. Why had he even gotten his hopes up? He would know if Suga was interested in him. He would _know_.  
  
Ignoring this, Suga continued, “I always looked forward to it, y’know? A week of just us hanging out, playing volleyball, and feeling like nothing else mattered.. I think if I had to go back to a time in high school it would be a training camp, especially the one in our third year.”  
  
The car was oddly silent after that. Suga looked over to Daichi, surprised to see a dark expression furrowed between his brows.  
  
“Hey, you okay?” Suga’s voice was gentle. “Where’d you go?”  
  
The brown eyes were startled as they glanced over.  
  
“What? Yeah, I’m just trying to think if that’s where I’d go back if I went back to high school.”  
  
“Really, you’d pick something else?”  
  
“Remember in third year going to the shrine with Asahi and Kiyoko? I think maybe I’d go back to that.”  
  
Daichi had the weirdest dream that morning, which seemed like an auspicious start to the year, but it had been a good day. His best friends were all in one place, the cold biting at their faces above warm coats and Suga’s bright turquoise scarf (the same one Daichi had tucked into Suga’s coat this morning). Sure, Asahi had gotten a cursed fortune, but considering he was a pretty successful sports psychologist now, Daichi didn’t feel like he’d turned out too badly with that. Plus, he and Suga had each gotten a ‘future blessings’ fortune, which felt pretty true considering they still faced the future as a team, even if it was a team of two now.  
  
Suga’s eyes had been searching his face, seeing every ripple of emotion, no matter how slight – Daichi had always been an open book to him. He punched Daichi gently on the shoulder, much more gently than his usual aggressive affection, and his voice was thicker than it had been just moments ago.  
  
“Daichi, you’re such a sap.”  
  
Daichi smiled a little to himself, his chest warm. He was feeling nostalgic too, now. Suga always had this effect on him – his mood was infectious, for better or for worse.  
  
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, each remembering more from their high school days and occasionally sharing the moments that made them both laugh or groan.  
  
As Suga looked out the window, the snow-kissed scenery flashed by quicker than the eye could take in but he wasn’t really seeing what was outside. He was stuck in the past now, back before he knew the Daichi who wore henleys and jeans instead of a school uniform or captain’s jersey. His best friend had been a confident teenager, more mentally tough than anyone he knew. That fortitude had seen Suga through a lot of bad days, from being a teenager coming out to his family to the time as a young adult trying to double major, and more recently when he started his career in youth counseling.  
  
Every step of his life he’d had this moral pillar to lean back on, and as much as he was sentimental about the good things in his past, he knew it hadn’t all been easy. But it had been with his best friend and that had made all the difference. It was nice, he thought, to have grown up with someone who knew where you had started and had seen how much you had grown; at least with Daichi.  
  
“Hey, Suga?”  
  
His focus came back to the here and now, looking over Daichi’s familiar strong profile. He hummed in acknowledgment, waiting for Daichi to share where his nostalgia had taken him.  
  
“Remember rooming together at uni?”  
  
Suga made a noise that might have been a snort.  
  
“I remember learning that you’re an absolute neat freak that doesn’t know how to sleep in. If that’s what you mean.”  
  
“Hey! Someone had to teach you how to sort laundry, and by the end of sophomore year you said you liked going on morning runs with me.”  
  
Gray flyaway hair fell over Suga’s eyes as he shook his head, but he laughed again, this time an easy sound, like wind chimes tinkling throughout the car’s interior.  
  
“You’ve always been so honest and good, Daichi, you forget I am not – I hate running. It just made you happy when I pretended to like it.”  
  
The stunned look on Daichi’s face set him snickering.  
  
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I always thought you knew and just made me go anyway because it was good for me or you liked my company or something.”  
  
Truth be told, Suga had always assumed Daichi was much more perceptive than he really was.  
  
Daichi’s low voice sounded gruff. “Just because both of those things are true doesn’t mean I’m not personally offended.”  
  
“Hey, I still came to every volleyball game and cheered for you. That erases my emotional debt for the running lies.”  
  
And he had. Suga had been to every game throughout their four years at school together. Daichi had gotten his engineering degree while playing on the school’s team and Suga had graduated with a double major in social services and psychology. They’d lived together, studied alongside each other, and essentially spent every waking minute in each other’s company. Some of their other friendships had faded with time and distance, but Daichi and Suga were made of stronger stuff than most.  
  
That’s not to say they only spent time with each other. Their years since highschool had been punctuated by other important people, too. At university, Asahi and eventually Ennoshita had lived on campus or in apartment buildings nearby and they’d all studied together frequently. Tanaka and Noya would visit on long weekends and every Monday they’d all regret going out drinking together, though it never stopped them from doing it again.  
  
Now as adults, Kuroo and Kenma lived just ten minutes away in Tokyo and came over for dinner after work a lot; neither of them had any skills in the kitchen, so it was Daichi and Suga making sure they were eating vegetables as much as it was friendship. Hinata and Kageyama had weekly FaceTime calls with them when they weren’t in the middle of tournaments, and Oikawa could be found on their couch anytime he was in town, bringing “Iwa–chan’s fondest regards,” as if Daichi and Iwaizumi didn’t call each other multiple times a week.  
  
There had even been significant others, girlfriends and boyfriends that had come and gone. None of them had ever stayed long, which recently had struck Daichi as odd. As their friends had settled down into their versions of domestic bliss, he’d started to notice that he and Suga just… stayed the same. They dated others, sure, but at the end of the day they came home to each, and that’s what had always felt right. When it came to dating, Daichi had never felt that same level of _rightness_ with anyone else. His partners had been fine, but when he looked at the relationships he knew, he wasn’t sure he was really cut out for them.  
  
Hinata and Kageyama seemed to thrive off of being competitive even when their schedules made it hard to see each other consistently; Iwaizumi and Oikawa had that weird “I hate you and I can’t live without you” thing that only they understood; Kuroo and Kenma had always been comfortable with their mutual nerdy weirdness. But none of that had ever been something Daichi envied. He loved his friends and loved their happiness, but their version of happiness was never what he wanted for himself.  
  
If he really thought about it, he wanted a partner, a teammate. Someone who really understood him, someone who could read between the lines so he didn’t have to say when he was frustrated or excited or anxious – he’d never been great at communicating that kind of thing anyway. He thought maybe that the right person for him wouldn’t mind staying in to watch movies on Friday nights, would love his family, would be okay with the fact that some days he stayed up way too late playing video games with Kuroo like they were still in college. It didn’t seem like a lot to ask, but he just hadn’t found that person yet.  
Frankly, he hadn’t been trying too hard recently, either. Why should he? He cooked and Suga cleaned, they watched the same television shows (well, he enjoyed Suga’s obsession with The Food Network and Suga was amicable to all of Daichi’s nature survival shows, even if Suga pretended his favorite was NOT Naked and Afraid). More regular sex wouldn’t be the worst, though he managed to leave with someone from the bars often enough (he and Suga an unspoken agreement that hookups were not welcome at their place). But as far as physical affection went, well, he and Suga had always hugged or put an arm around shoulders as teenagers, and as adults they ruffled hair, wrestled playfully, or sometimes ended up cuddling on the couch at the end of a long day -- it wasn’t weird for them.  
  
But he sometimes worried that Suga was less content, that maybe he wanted more from their 20s than what they had gotten. But Suga would have said something, right? Or was he going along with what made Daichi happy, just like he had with those early morning runs? Was Suga missing more from life? Should they start to separate their domestic lives a little more? What did Suga want from life? From a partner? Daichi wasn’t accustomed to overthinking things like this; questioning every little thing was more Kuroo’s deal than his.  
  
He and Suga had talked about so much, but they had never really talked about _that_. And it’s not like Suga’s boyfriends had stuck around much longer than anyone Daichi had been with, either. Both of them had always just shrugged it off and made some easy excuse about being in different places in life, or not having the same values. One ex-girlfriend had come far too close to the truth, telling Daichi he never made time for her even though he always had time for Suga. (He had told Suga she dumped him due to his weird working hours.)  
  
He shook his head, fighting a little to keep his smile in place.  
  
“Yeah, you were at every game, if that’s what helps you sleep at night, traitor. But that’s not what I was thinking about.”  
  
Suga scoffed, “I sleep like a baby, thank you very much.”  
  
And now Daichi rolled his eyes. “I was thinking about our first holiday season in the dorms, actually. Though you’re probably going to tell me you’ve been pretending to like Christmas decorating all these years, too?”  
  
The insulted gasp in reply had his smile feeling more genuine now.  
  
“But you remember, that was the year you decided to take up knitting for ‘stress relief’?”  
  
Suga’s hazel eyes narrowed in warning, “Daichi I swear to god if you’re about to tell me you’ve been lying about my knitting–”  
  
“I would never! _I’m_ the honest one here, aren’t I?” _Mostly honest_ , at least, his mental voice amended. “If you’d let me _finish_ , I’m trying to say that’s probably my favorite of all the weird hobbies you’ve picked up.”  
  
“Yoga and plant husbandry are not that weird, Daichi. Not all of us can play Call of Duty for eighteen hours straight and cook like a _god_. Some of us need less stressful things to be good at.”  
  
A god? Daichi’s raised eyebrow would almost shame Suga to blushing, if he could be shamed.  
  
“The fact that you still find cooking dinner stressful is beyond me, but I will allow you to continue to worship at my altar if you’ll knit my mom a shawl for her birthday this year.”  
  
Although Daichi doubted Suga was capable of being shamed, at least he was still capable of a full blush. He turned out the window with a scoff, pressing a cool hand to his warm cheek.  
  
“Oh benevolent Daichi, I humbly accept.” He opened his phone and tapped at the screen quickly, “I’m texting you patterns to choose from, let me know which one you like best.”  
  
***  
  
When it came time to swap drivers, Suga got out of the car and stretched, leaning over to touch his toes as his back cracked in a few places.  
  
“Jesus, Suga, how do you even do that?”  
  
Suga’s hazel eyes peeked up at Daichi where he leaned against the passenger side door of the little car, looking unfairly godly with how his joggers hugged his muscular thighs. Suga cursed himself for picking those particular pants out for Daichi last year and huffed a deeper inhale. He exhaled to press his palms against the cold concrete of the snowy parking lot.  
  
“If you joined me in stretching before work you could also do this, you water buffalo.”  
  
“If you still ran with me in the morning you wouldn’t have a mini heart attack every time the elevator goes out.”  
  
“You were the one that insisted on a 5th-floor apartment!”  
  
“Fine, next year we’ll get a house!”  
  
Suga paused noticeably and straightened slowly, not looking at Daichi. Daichi backtracked quickly.  
  
“Or not, we don’t have to change anything, or we can figure out our own thing. Maybe you’ve finally gotten sick of me – took you long enough–”  
  
Suga waved a slender hand, brushing away Daichi’s sudden insecurity. “Dai, why would I ever be sick of you? Besides, our lease doesn't end until August, we don’t have to rush to figure this out now, yeah?”  
  
And that was that. Suga had effectively closed the door on that conversation for now, but neither of them felt any comfort that the situation was resolved.  
  
***  
  
They started the second leg of the drive, this time with the silence a little more oppressive than before. Daichi sat in the passenger seat now, feet on the floor, back straight, always a monument of a man. He needed none of the twistings or contorting Suga did to get comfortable. It was something Suga had always admired before, Daichi’s ability to be so still, so certain. But now as Suga focused on the road, or tried to, he felt the steady weight of Daichi’s eyes on him. It got to be heavy, too heavy, and he had to speak up to say something before Daichi said more about their living situation.  
  
As of this year, they were both finally stable in their careers and making decent money thanks to Daichi’s passing his final PE exams and Suga’s most recent promotion. Suga had just assumed Daichi would _want_ to get his own place and start seriously dating soon (wasn’t that what everyone was expecting of them both?).  
  
It wasn’t like Suga hadn’t thought about what it could be like to get out of their tiny apartment. He had a recurring daydream of waking up in a king-size bed to the smell of coffee. He’d stretch luxuriously and half sleepwalk down a little flight of stairs to find Daichi, wearing only pajama pants, pouring just the right amount of cream into Suga’s favorite mug. Looking at houses brought him one step closer to that dream, but it was only ever going to be a dream. It was easier to avoid the conversation altogether for as long as he could.  
  
Realistically Suga knew they couldn’t live the co–bachelor lifestyle forever, but he didn’t want to talk about them going their separate ways, not yet. He didn’t want to think about what that would look like, but of course, he already had. Maybe next year he’d take the train home while Daichi did the drive with a new partner. Of course, Daichi would insist that Suga still come with and not waste the money on a train ticket, but being relegated to the backseat was something Suga wasn’t sure he could handle even metaphorically, much less literally.  
  
The sound of Daichi inhaling interrupted his thoughts, and he knew that was the inhale that usually preceded him speaking. Without thinking, jumped in to blurt out the first thing that came to his mind.  
  
“You ready for all the ‘why haven’t you settled down yet’ questions from your mom?”  
  
Daichi blinked, his lips slightly parted. He processed the change in topic for a moment before rubbing a hand across the back of his neck sheepishly.  
  
“Oh you mean how she’ll ask my siblings that? Mom gave up on asking about my dating life years ago, she only ever asks about you.”  
  
Suga felt his cheeks dust a light pink. He knew he said a lot of dumb stuff on accident or due to his ever–withering sense of self-control, but did Daichi know what hearing these kinds of things did to him? (The idea of Mrs. Sawamura asking after him was really nice, though.)  
  
“Well, this year you tell her that her eldest son is fantastic and cannot wait to see her on New Years'.”  
  
“So you don’t want me to tell her that you still haven’t figured out how to change the batteries in a smoke alarm?” Daichi teased, and Suga’s relief that they’re fully off of the housing conversation was nearly palpable.  
  
“Daichi, don’t you dare! That’s what I have you for.” Suga’s eyes popped a little wider and he was more than ready to throw himself out the car window had he not been the one driving. He grimaced and hastily added, “And besides, you have me so you can get in all your practice with a useless housemate before you take on a useless significant other.”  
  
Suga wondered then if his ‘future blessings’ fortune from highschool could extend all the way to this moment so that Daichi wouldn’t notice the strangeness of that comment. The stars did seem to align as Daichi’s eyes narrowed for the briefest moment before he played along.  
  
“What makes you think my significant other will be useless?!” Daichi was pleased his voice sounded unaffected. It had taken a lot of effort to bite back the reply on the tip of his tongue, _couldn’t you just be both?_ and continue on like normal.  
  
“You attract the helpless, Daichi. It’s something about the wide shoulders and confident dad–vibes. Why do you think we’ve always made such a good team?”  
  
Suga thought something in Daichi’s demeanor shifted then like a light turned on somewhere behind his eyes, but his eyes darted back to the road too quickly to know for sure what it was he saw. Refocusing on the road, he mentally kicked himself. He hadn’t been this awkward since their second year of high school when his massive crush on Daichi just would not go away.  
  
He’d thought about making a move, or confessing, and he’d come so close when they visited the shrine their third year. He even still had the fortune/confession he’d made in his wallet, still folded crisply like it had been all those years ago when Suga had wussed out at the last minute.  
  
Knowing that’s the day Daichi would go back to, though. that struck a chord deep inside.  
  
But it had been _years_ since he’d tamped it all down. He knew what Daichi looked like and acted like when he was interested in someone. He got awkward and adorably shy, and it was like he’d never realized how big he was before, always bumping into things or tripping over his own feet. It made Suga’s heart ache a little every time, and it was never how Daichi looked or acted with him. No, Daichi was always thoughtful and playful and confident with Suga, which was so damn attractive, but it had never gone further. So Suga had gone out with a good amount of men since high school, men that were tall and thin, and not like Daichi at all. Because he didn’t need someone _like_ Daichi, not when he already had the real thing – as much as he _could_ have him, anyway.  
  
But sweet, thoughtful, oblivious Daichi just chuckled and replied easily.  
  
“I can cook and change batteries, sure, but you’re still the one that remembers to clean the bathroom weekly. Oh, and you’re the only one that ever thinks to check the mail. That has to count for something.”  
  
And Suga hoped it did count for something. He’d been relying on Daichi for so long the idea of not having him just down the hall felt like a hole where his stomach should be. Imagining Daichi curled up on a different couch, in a different house, with someone else turned that hole into a gaping wound. But he had to stop thinking about that. Daichi had only brought up their living situation as part of a normal conversation they’d have to have eventually. Suga wasn’t being kicked out of his best friend’s life. Not yet anyway.  
  
Stay Gold came on his music shuffle and he smiled a little as Daichi reached over to turn the volume up.  
  
***  
  
They’d made good time and weren’t too far out from home, the clear weather and Suga’s lead foot mainly to thank for that. Daichi always accused Suga of being in a rush everywhere he went, which was a nice way of saying Suga was always running late – the severity of the rebuke was often negated by the fact that Daichi had coffee ready in Suga’s thermos every morning like clockwork. Suga maintained that Daichi needed a little unpredictability, otherwise, he’d become bored with how reliable he was. Both statements were probably true.  
  
Just as they were starting to get sore with all the sitting, Suga found their exit. At this point, even Daichi had shifted uncomfortably once or twice; his tiny Prius was efficient and handy in the city, but not really made for his bulk to rest comfortably in for long road trips.  
  
They made their way through the quiet little town towards Suga’s old house. His older sister wouldn’t make it back until tomorrow and his parents were likely still at work, so he had a few blessed hours to unpack, take a bath, and maybe pick up takeout to surprise them. Or he could ask Daichi to help him with dinner. His parents would be thrilled, Suga’s dad was possibly Daichi’s number two fan (behind Daichi’s own mother), but there was something else he had to ask.  
  
He pulled into his driveway and finally reopened the subject that had been plaguing him since their stop. He looked over from the driver’s seat, an apologetic half-smile on his face.  
  
“Dai, do you want to talk about the living situation? We can. I’m just being selfish because I like how things are, but if _you_ want to do your own thing I totally get it.”  
  
But Daichi was already shaking his head, short-cropped hair waving back and forth gently, “No, no. I don’t want anything to change as far as living together goes.”  
  
A grey eyebrow quirked up at that. “You don’t want your own space? Maybe surprise the family next year by bringing home a new live-in girlfriend or boyfriend or something?”  
  
Now Daichi wasn’t looking at him, the tips of his ears tinged a little red, and his voice rumbled over Suga like an avalanche.  
  
“I guess I always felt like I didn’t really need anyone else.”  
  
Oh.  
  
Oh?  
  
And it was that unashamed, unabashed honesty to Daichi’s declaration that made him wonder, his eyes roving over the familiar face of his best friend, trying to determine if there was more than platonic fondness in those warm brown eyes. Was there something he’d missed or misunderstood all these years? All the self–assured teasing was just Daichi being Daichi, wasn’t it? There was nothing more behind the glancing touches in the kitchen or crushing hugs after a long day at work, was there? Was he just overthinking? He must be. There was no reason to think that anything had changed, or that anything would change.  
  
Suga nearly banged his head against the steering wheel. What was he doing? This kind of stampeding insecurity was usually more of an Oikawa thing, but maybe he’d picked up on it over their years as friends, too.  
  
He got out of the car quickly then, hiding his confused face as he leaned into the back seat to grab his things. He was notorious for his inability to pack light, so the backseat was currently overtaken by his two bags, backpack, and a very specific body pillow he couldn’t sleep without. This would take more than one trip if he didn’t want to drop anything, but he really just wanted to get inside and shut the door so he could think.  
  
In his haste, he missed how Daichi’s gaze went from hopeful to shuttered. He didn’t see how Daichi had been reaching a hand out only to drop it back and unbuckle his seatbelt instead.  
  
Leaning his head back against the seat as Suga closed the driver’s side door, Daichi sighed. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe there had never been anything between them. He was usually so bad at initiating romantic relationships as it was. He’d get so nervous and clumsy normally, and Suga mercilessly called him out on it. But this _was_ Suga, so it wasn’t nerves so much as outright paralyzing terror. Could he really take a risk and ruin so many years of friendship? It made for pitifully feeble moments of near–confessions, like telling your best friend you didn’t need anyone else without adding the ‘because I’m in love with you’ that was likely very important. He almost smacked his head against the window, but he was quietly mortified enough as it was. He really was no good at expressing his feelings like this.  
  
Instead, he did what was good at and tried to show Suga, like he’d been trying to show him for years in a thousand little ways – changing the smoke alarm batteries, cooking dinner, sending care packages for their kouhai, making coffee. Quietly loving his best friend the only way he was allowed to.  
He got out of the car and wordlessly grabbed the large weekender bag off Suga’s shoulder and the duffle from where it sat on the ground. Leaving Suga with the backpack and pillow, Daichi walked to the familiar front door of the Sugawaras’ house.  
  
They stepped inside quietly. There was no one to greet them besides the cat Suga’s parents had gotten after he had left for university. The fluffy devil darted away from his place on the entryway rug with a quiet hiss, startling them both. Suga moved around Daichi, who had paused in the doorway after setting the bags down, to turn on the dim hallway light. Holding his breath only a little, he glanced back at Daichi, still in the doorway. He looked good leaning a hip against the doorframe of Suga’s childhood home. His casually handsome self clad in a chunky cream sweater Suga had knit for him last year as they watched reruns of Alone, one of many he’d made for Daichi but arguably the best one. There was an odd tension to his broad shoulders – shoulders that were _not_ easy to knit for – that Suga hasn’t seen before. It may be a new expression for Daichi, but it matched the odd pulling sensation Suga felt in his stomach, the feeling of being unsettled and unsure.  
  
He couldn’t settle himself, though, not without asking a very specific question outright or doing something crazy, and they were already treading dangerous waters here. The conversations had gotten too close to something long unspoken, something scary, something Suga had always and never wanted to bring up. He’d spent four years at uni studying human nature and emotion, so it was vaguely horrifying to feel so lost now, especially with the person he usually felt he knew best. Daichi was and is his best friend, he had never asked for more from Suga and that was fine. Suga had never asked for much either, because what he would ask for, he knew, wasn’t meant for him.  
  
Turning slightly towards the stairs at the other side of the house’s entryway he put on a slightly too-bright smile, slinging his bag over his shoulder to take it upstairs. He needed to escape this moment before he actually did something crazy, like pull that stupid confession out of his wallet or throw himself into Daichi’s arms or both. His attempt at breaking the tension was weak at best, but he had to say something, didn’t he?  
  
“I’ll be over for your birthday, right? And then breakfast the day after?” His voice only came out with a slight wobble, for which he was eternally grateful.  
Daichi’s responding smile was kind, though there was something sad to the edges of it, and he nodded.  
  
It wasn’t like Suga even had to ask. That had been a tradition for years, too. Suga and any other friends in town would all cram into the Sawamuras’ house for Daichi’s birthday and the start of the New Year. Inevitably they’d all crash on any available soft surface before waking up the next day to visit the shrine. Even if Asahi had to head back to Kyoto for work right after Christmas and Kiyoko had stayed in the city with Yachi for the holidays this year, Daichi and Suga would still go to offer their prayers and gratitude. Suga hoped this wasn’t the year the tradition ended. Maybe next year he’d stay home with his parents, or head back to the city early to knit a sweater for no one.  
  
Nearly at the front door again, Daichi paused. Suga felt the gaze on his back, turning around from where he had been retreating up the stairs. Meeting Daichi’s gaze, he felt his forehead crease at another unfamiliar expression. Daichi’s smile was still there and the sad edges were gone, but there’s a different shape to the warmth. Like his eyes and words when they were in the car, it’s a change Suga can’t put a name on, but his chest felt tighter and that pull in his stomach was stronger.  
  
But Daichi said simply, “Let me know if you wanna grab coffee or anything while we’re home – it’s always weird not seeing you, even if it’s just for a few days.”  
  
And that couldn’t be coincidence, right? That Daichi didn’t need anyone else and would miss him over their few days apart? Suga couldn’t actually be reading into this too much, right? But he didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t respond, could he?  
Daichi’s eyes bore deeply into Suga’s as he said one last thing, before lifting a hand in goodbye as he stepped out the door. Those parting words floated through the flurry of snow he had let in, pushed through the frigid air on his warm breath. As the words reached Suga, the winter air in the small entryway dissipated, and warm fire stoked in the hearth of his chest at the way his name sounded so reverent, so intimate, rumbled out in that familiar baritone.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Koushi.”  
  
The heavy front door clicked behind Daichi, and Suga realized, standing on the stairway of his childhood house, he wasn’t home, not really. Home had just left through that front door, and he already felt a little homesick.


	2. Home is where your heart is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re smitten.”
> 
> She said it as a statement of fact, not a question.
> 
> His sigh was ragged as it left his chest.
> 
> “I know.”
> 
> \---
> 
> Daichi and Suga spend some time at home for the holidays, catching up with family and friends (but what about catching feelings?).

Suga had spent the three days leading up to Christmas alternating between blind panic, optimistic joy and utter confusion. He’d knitted two entire scarves for his sister and mother, helped decorate the entire house with all the Christmas trimmings, and had baked enough cookies that his mother had strictly forbidden him from making more until they had eaten what was already in the kitchen.  
  
It was Christmas Eve when his dad asked after Daichi, poking fun at Suga for still having learned nothing about actual cooking after another year. Suga had barely managed to squeak out a “he’s fine” before beating a hasty retreat from the kitchen. He sat outside, letting the sharp air buff out all of his rough edges.  
  
When he finally made his way back into the house, his sister was leaning against the doorway, smirking. Eyeing her warily, Suga had attempted to sneak around but she pinned him where he stood with a raised eyebrow, equally cunning to the expression Suga often wore.  
  
“You’re smitten.”  
  
She said it as a statement of fact, not a question.  
  
His sigh was ragged as it left his chest.  
  
“I know.”  
  
He brushed past her, thankful that she made no other comment, and padded up the stairs to his room. It was much unchanged since his days in high school, still littered with memories from the volleyball team and his classes.  
  
He fell back on his bed, a sigh heaving from his chest. If his sister knew, how obvious was it? Was there a chance Daichi knew and was too respectful to say anything?  
  
He rubbed a hand over his eyes, willing his mind to stop racing. He hadn’t met up with Daichi for coffee, hadn’t even seen him since the day they arrived. The thought of sitting casually across a cafe table from Daichi, drinking coffee like any average day, was all too much. Seeing his honest smile and the way he blushed so easily at Suga’s teasing – Suga wasn’t sure he could handle that without inevitably making some kind of fool of himself.  
  
He’d been overthinking everything from their drive up, every sentence, every inflection, and he still wasn’t sure if Daichi had as good as confessed, or if Daichi was just being his sweet best friend of over ten years.  
  
Suga _really_ needed to figure this out, he just had no idea how. And it’s not like he wasn’t still talking to Daichi, anyway. They were never good at going for long periods of time without some kind of contact, even if the messages were just innocent little notes about what Suga’s mom dressed their cat in or what Daichi’s brother had said over lunch that day.  
  
Each text felt like an assault to Suga’s heart.  
  
He wondered what it would be like to text Daichi as his boyfriend instead of just as his friend. Would Suga still send too many cat photos or would he send something riskier just to get a reaction? The thought of Daichi blushing furiously a few streets away as Suga texted him photos of increasingly compromising positions was incredibly enticing.  
  
And would Daichi send photos back? Suga felt something stirring... low beneath his navel. The things he would do to see those bare, strong legs captured on the screen of his phone.  
  
He’d make it his home screen, just to mortify Daichi.  
  
His dad’s voice called from downstairs.  
  
“Dinner’s ready!”  
  
Flopping over onto his stomach, Suga groaned into his pillow, so mentally aroused but physically paralyzed over the feelings he could no longer deny. He had to do something, he just had no idea what.  
  
***  
  
After Christmas had passed, Suga called Oikawa so many times he thought his friend might actually block his number. Thankfully, Oikawa was a sucker for good drama.  
  
“Tooru?”  
  
“Sugababy, what’s up?”  
  
“I have news.”  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“Okay, but promise not to freak out…”  
  
There was a tense silence. Oikawa hummed.  
  
“I think I’m in love with Daichi.”  
  
The pause stretched uncomfortably after Suga’s declaration.  
  
“...Oikawa?”  
  
“Refreshing–kun, I thought you said you had news.”  
  
“What the hell? “I’m confessing _after ten years_ and this is the reaction I get?!”  
  
A door slammed on the other end of the phone, and a new, rasping voice crackled down the line.  
  
“Oi, Shittykawa, who are you talking to?”  
  
“Iwa–chan, good morning! Suga has just realized his deep, irrefutable love for Daichi and is panicking like it's something new.”  
  
The rough voice moved closer to the speaker, making it easier for Suga to hear the clear, “Don’t worry, Suga, you’ve got this!”  
  
Holy shit, _Iwaizumi_ knew too?  
  
“Iwa, I definitely do _not_ got this!” His voice softened to a near–whimper, “What do I do? How do I know if it’s real?”  
  
Iwaizumi’s quiet chuckle was oddly comforting, though Suga's heart still pounded.  
  
“When I realized how I felt about Oikawa, it was because no matter how apart or how far from Japan we were, just hearing his voice over the phone felt like I was home again.”  
  
Suga couldn’t breathe.  
  
Suddenly the sound of his front door shutting all over again echoed in his head, and he felt the deep pit in his stomach as he felt homesick in the house he grew up in.  
  
All because Daichi just walked out the door.  
  
In the midst of his chest restricting in on itself he remembered words from years ago, when he was a tiny first year, his nostalgia coming back to haunt him.  
  
_“No matter what, if an opportunity comes along, you must grab it.”_  
  
And that was it. The clarity rang through him like the reverberations of a gong.  
  
“Iwa–chaaaaaaan~ that was so cuuuuuuuute~ why do you never say cute things to me–”  
  
“Trashkawa get the fuck OFF of me, you’re not a _child_ –”  
  
But Suga was no longer listening. The line clicked and with it, Suga’s certainty slotted into place.  
  
Over the years, with every new place, every new move, the concept of ‘home’ had become a less tangible thing. If Suga was really being honest, home hadn’t been walls or a roof for a long time. Home was two strong legs that carried drunk–Suga to his bed more than a few times in college. Home was a fresh–cooked dinner every night, served with an easy smile and just the right amount of spice. Home was the smell of pine, of fresh snow, and clean sweat after morning runs.  
  
For Suga, he finally understood what home really was. He took a deep, deep inhale.  
  
But what if Daichi didn’t feel the same? Anxiety clawed at him, cold and grating. Just because Oikawa and Iwaizumi were confident didn’t mean they were right.  
  
But he had an opportunity and he had to grab it.  
  
***  
  
After long thoughts, numerous panic–driven phone calls with Oikawa, Iwaizumi comforting him an embarrassing number of times, and a few sleepless nights, Suga finally settled on how he’d do it. He knew exactly how he’d confess to Daichi. Well, he thought he did at least, which is how he ended up on the phone with Oikawa again.  
  
“Babe, why are you freaking out?” Oikawa’s honeyed voice only slightly betrayed his annoyance. _He_ was used to being the needy one in this friendship.  
  
“What if I’m wrong?”  
  
“Wrong about what?”  
  
“About all of it. About him having feelings for me? About us being able to… to be together? About everything?  
  
He heard Oikawa’s long–suffering sigh and couldn’t even find it in himself to be ashamed. He needed to know it would be okay somehow.  
  
“Koushi, tell me again how you’re confessing.”  
  
“I– I’m going to do it on New Years.” He was pleased that this time his voice didn’t shake. “We’re going to visit the shrine like we always do, and I’m going to give him the confession I wrote back in high school.”  
  
Oikawa groaned. “You’re literally giving me a cavity.”  
  
Suga smiled at that, the fond sweetness he felt for Daichi creeping into his voice.  
  
“I know, it’s so corny. Daichi loves stuff like that.”  
  
“And you’re so thoughtful about what he likes. That’s exactly why Daichi loves _you_.”  
  
Suga gasped at that, dropping the little folded paper he’d been turning over in his hands.  
  
“Tooru, you can’t just say things like that!” And just as quickly as the embarrassment flooded him, it left, leaving a bed of misery and insecurity in its wake. His voice came out small.  
  
“But what if I lose him?”  
  
Oikawa scoffed now, “We have ALL seen how that man looks at you, sweetheart. He’s not going anywhere. You two have been married for years.”  
  
Suga whined, the sound so un–Suga–like that Oikawa took pity.  
  
“Seriously, you have nothing to worry about. Just have a drink and go back to your knitting.”  
  
“I can’t. I’m meeting him and Asahi at the bar tonight.”  
  
“It’s going to be okay, Sugababe.”  
  
They hung up and Suga eyed himself in the mirror.  
  
He was cute, he looked put–together, and he was freaking out. Oikawa’s blatant lack of concern wasn’t enough to soothe him tonight. This wasn’t something he could brush off.  
  
What if he confessed, and Daichi wanted nothing to do with him? He’d be nice enough to finish their lease out, but then, what would happen after?  
  
If Daichi didn’t love Suga.. that would be it.  
  
Daichi would move on, he’d find a new partner, one that he actually loved back. And Suga would… god, he didn’t even know what he’d do. The concept was so empty, so void of all the warmth and care he’d felt for so long, he really had no idea what a future without Daichi, really without him, would look like.  
  
Suga tried to leave the heavy thoughts behind. He bolted for the bar early, peacoat tucked in tight against the wind to get to get there before everyone else. He thought a drink or two to take the edge off would help, and in the end he was somewhat right.  
  
***  
  
Everyone else had arrived, more drinks were passed around, stories of their lives were swapped, and Suga was, oh, he was _drunk_.  
  
He could feel the warmth from Daichi’s body like a comforting fire burning against his side all night. He felt a constant blush heat his face and he knew his laugh was too loud, but he couldn’t stop himself. He felt out of control, just enough, and it was freeing.  
  
He teetered on the edge of too–drunk and just–drunk–enough, and with the head start he'd gotten before everyone else arrived, Suga free-fell off of the knife’s edge into too–drunk–too–fast. By the end of the night, the edges of his vision were too blurred and his words came out a mess. He could barely stand, much less see himself home.  
  
He’d just punched Asahi in the shoulder, lovingly, after his giant friend shyly disclosed just how often their former–highschool–turned–pro–libero was visiting him between matches. Suga had a lot more to say on that matter, but the next thing he knew, he was being gently set down on a soft surface, strong arms wrapped around him.  
  
How had he gotten here? It seemed familiar, but hard to tell when the room wouldn’t stop spinning.  
  
A blanket was being pulled up around his shoulders and a broad hand pressed softly against his cheek. He caught the familiar hint of pine and whimpered as it pulled away, the thick shape of Daichi’s body knelt in front of him.  
  
“What do you need, Suga?” The deep voice reverberated against his skull and he reached out a hand, grabbing at the front of a soft button-down shirt, leaning forward to press his forehead against Daichi’s shoulder.  
  
“Stay?” he slurred quietly. “I dont… pl’se don’t leave?”  
  
“There’s barely enough room on my old bed for you, much less both of us.” Daichi chuckled fondly. “I don’t think you want to be that squished all night.”  
  
But Suga shook his head emphatically, tugging a little at the shirt he still gripped.  
  
“Please?” he whispered.  
  
A soft sigh sounded somewhere over his head, but he felt the bed sink down next to him with a solid weight, and a comforting warmth pressed along his body. The strong arms that had carried him home curved around his torso, pulling him down to nestle against a strong chest.  
  
“I’m not going anywhere, Koushi.”  
  
And the sound of his name uttered so gently nearly pulled another whimper from him. It was all Suga could do to nod.  
  
He turned to his other side, fisting a hand into the shirt now pressed against his cheek, breathing in the firm solidarity of Daichi. How had he gone so long pretending that this wasn’t everything he had wanted? It felt so right, being here together. He wished his head wasn’t spinning so much, and more than that, he wished Daichi felt the way he did.  
  
He’d loved this man for so long, since they were just teenagers, and by the end of this year they’d either be together the way his heart had always silently called for, or not.  
  
Either way, Suga knew he’d never feel his heart _need_ someone the way he felt the need for Daichi. He needed to come home to the smell of him cooking something spicy just for Suga. He needed to be scolded when _another_ plant showed up on their tiny windowsill. He needed to be loved in all the little ways this man had loved him over the years, and he needed to be loved in new, physical ways, too.  
  
The sudden and uninvited thought of never being able to crawl onto Daichi’s lap and press a kiss against his collarbone while they watched reruns of Iron Chef fractured something deep in his chest.  
  
He felt a telling wetness on his cheek and closed his eyes tighter, willing himself to please _not_ be crying right now. The rhythmic breathing beneath him was soothing, though, and he tried to focus on that, matching their inhales. He felt a warm hand reach across him and start to rub circles over his back. His last conscious thought was how much he needed to fall asleep like this every night.  
  
***  
  
Daichi continued to rub Suga’s back with one hand, the other coming up to curl protectively around the back of his head. The drunken puddle of his best friend asleep next to him wasn’t new, but it felt different, more intimate. The way Suga’s breath fell softly against his collarbones sent a flood of warmth down to his toes. And something about how Suga’s forehead rested just so against his shoulder – the need to protect him was so instinctual, something Daichi couldn’t even explain to himself, something he’d been trying to push away in favor of the firm friendship they’d had for so long.  
  
But the iron doors he thought he’d closed on his feelings were rusting at the hinges, especially now that his best friend, this beautiful, ethereal man had, at his most vulnerable, asked Daichi to stay with him.  
  
He knew his resolve to maintain their friendship crumbled a little more every time he used Suga’s given name, but each time he said it aloud he felt a rush of something feathered and hopeful unfurl in his chest. He wondered what the other man made of it, how Daichi said _Koushi_ like a prayer. But he hadn’t complained yet, so Daichi was still able to say it, like a secret gift he’d give himself.  
  
Carding his fingers through the spun starlight of Suga’s hair, he curled himself tighter around the other man as if it would close the emotional distance itself.  
  
He was going to do it, he was going to confess for real, in a way that Suga couldn’t misunderstand. He had it all planned out.  
  
They’d go to the shrine after his birthday like they always did, and then Daichi would suggest grabbing tea at Suga’s favorite cafe after. He’d already called the shop owner, who was having namagashi made specifically for Suga. Once they were seated and he had sweetened Suga up with tea and dessert, he’d just come out and say it.  
  
_Suga, I love you._  
  
It couldn’t be that hard, could it?  
  
He looked down at the moonlight shining on Suga’s face, so relaxed and vulnerable in sleep. The light of the moon peeking through the front window of Daichi’s bedroom was enough to gild Suga’s features in silver, and he looked so perfect, so content, Daichi risked a trial run.  
  
“Suga, I love you.”  
  
Suga curled himself tighter, tucking himself neatly on Daichi’s chest and Daichi’s breath caught as he swore he heard a muddled “‘Lo'e you, too” in reply. But it didn’t mean anything, not in this state.  
  
And yet, for Daichi, it meant _everything_.  
  
He let out an unsteady breath, wondering how he’d manage to sleep between now and New Years, now that _tonight_ happened. How could he ever sleep in this bed again, alone, knowing how incomplete it would feel without Suga?  
  
***

It turned out that New Years was too far away for fate.  
  
It had started out innocently enough, they’d all agreed to go out for drinks one last time before Asahi went back to Kyoto. Suga silently promised himself to keep his shit together, and one last pep–talk from Oikawa had him leaving his house feeling prepared to make it through the night without embarrassing himself again. He still wanted to die a little bit when he thought back to just a few days ago and the scene he had made asking Daichi to stay with him.  
  
He'd woken up that morning in a tangle of limbs, his body sprawled across Daichi’s expansive chest, the fingers of Suga’s left hand twined together with Daichi’s right. His mouth had gone dry at the feeling of the hardened length between Daichi’s legs pressing against his inner thigh, but a blanket still covered their lower halves, which kept him from visually confirming… damn.  
  
He had snuck out on silent feet like a scorned lover, leaving a hastily scribbled note with a lie about meeting his sister for breakfast. One indulgent moment of running his hand through Daichi’s short hair almost had him weakening, but he bolted down the stairs the moment he heard stirring from Daichi’s parents’ room down the hall. He had no intention of explaining to the kind Sawamuras why he was cuddled up with their son, on his bed, reeking of beer.  
  
Tonight would be different, he was sure of it.  
  
***  
  
And Suga was right.  
  
For one thing, Tanaka showed up. That’s really where it all had gone downhill. Asahi had tried, the saint, to be the voice of reason, cajoling everyone to drink water and trying to dissuade Tanaka from passing around tequila shots. But if there was anything less tameable than drunk–Suga, it was drunk–Tanaka. It wasn’t long before they were all giggly and warm, faces flushed and eyes bright.  
  
Daichi had meant to keep an eye on Suga, monitor how much alcohol he was putting down – if nothing else, to be mentally prepared to carry him home again. Generally, he liked drinking as much as the next person, but after more than one occasion of waking up hungover in an empty apartment he’d stopped overindulging when they were out together. It had always been stressful, those times he’d woken up and known Suga’s bed was untouched.  
  
For so long he’d chalked it up to a normal overprotective concern –– who wouldn’t be worried about their friend’s whereabouts? But it wasn’t always the pure concern of wanting to know _where_ Suga was, more often it was colored with a dark pulse of wondering who Suga was _with_. But just a few days ago, waking up and knowing Suga had been with _him_ , that had been… that had been something Daichi couldn’t quite put into words yet.  
  
He’d woken up alone, sure, but the bed had still been warm from the press of Suga tucked against him. The faint hint of Suga’s shampoo had lingered on his shirt, the bright notes of lemon and sage like a gentle sunrise as he inhaled it.  
  
Normally a morning person by force of habit, Daichi found himself laying in bed for much longer than he had in years, not wanting to relinquish the memories of falling asleep with the gentle weight of Suga on his chest and the soft murmur of Suga’s sleepy reply pounding through his veins. He tried, and failed, not to replay the sound of Suga’s voice, husky with alcohol and sleep, over and over. He tried even harder not to think about what it would sound like to hear “I love you” from a sober Suga.  
  
He failed at that, as well.  
  
He knew Suga had probably been embarrassed, he’d always been so adorably sheepish every time he got drunk in college, too. And like the good friend Daichi tried to be, he didn’t bring up their night together or how it had made him feel like combusting when Suga’s fingers had curled into his shirt as he whispered _“Please?”_  
  
Instead, he had let the next few days go by as normal, texting Suga with – what he hoped – was no perceivable change until Suga’s typed responses came as quickly and casually as ever. He’d never been very good at not talking to Suga, so it was a relief when Asahi had texted them about grabbing drinks again tonight and Suga agreed readily.  
  
But staying ‘normal’ now in Suga’s presence was proving to be more difficult than Daichi had anticipated. He kept getting distracted by how Suga’s fingers pushed the flyaway grey hair out of his eyes, hair that Daichi could still feel glide between his fingers, or how Suga leaned forward to touch Tanaka’s shoulder when he laughed.  
  
Is this what it would be like? If his confession went wrong?  
  
Would he have to watch as Suga looked at someone else with stars in his eyes? Would he be able to handle seeing Suga tucked safely, comfortably under an arm that wasn’t his?  
  
Asahi repeated himself for the third time, and Daichi finally realized he was not listening in the slightest.  
  
“Asahi, I’m sorry, what?”  
  
The chuckle that seemed far too soft for the giant next to him sounded only slightly exasperated.  
  
“Well, I was asking how work was going since you passed your exams. But now I feel like I should be asking when you two finally called it official? Congrats, man.”  
  
Daichi’s eyebrows furrowed.  
  
“What? Called what official?”  
  
Asahi hesitated now, his old insecurity never far from the surface.  
  
“You.. and Suga? You’re finally dating right? It’s just.. The way you’ve been looking at each other all night, I thought?”  
  
Daichi shook his head, somewhere between amused and embarrassed.  
  
“No… not yet.”  
  
And he filled Asahi in on everything over the last few days. He explained, honestly, ashamedly, how over the last few days he’d been reminiscing on the past, and how in every favorite memory it had always been him and Suga. He admitted that recently he’d been thinking about the future, and he blushed furiously as he confessed he wanted every new memory to be with Suga, too. He heard the quiet desperation in his own voice and hoped Asahi wasn’t judging him too harshly.  
  
“Whatever comes. New jobs, a house, a–a wedding, a dog, I want it all with him.”  
  
Daichi leaned down, pressing his forehead against the cool surface of the bar in an attempt to break the heat in his face and not see the softness of Asahi’s sympathetic gaze.  
  
“So _are_ you going to tell him?” The quiet understanding in Asahi’s voice was more than what Daichi deserved after being so dense for so long.  
  
After all, Daichi had all but confessed when he told Suga he didn’t see himself needing anyone else… hadn’t he?  
  
Well, no, he hadn’t.  
  
“I have to,” he said miserably. “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself if I don’t at least try.”  
  
“Are we talking about Daichi’s painfully obvious eternal love for Suga–san?”  
  
Both men jumped at Tanaka’s sudden intrusion, Asahi flinching as Tanaka fixed Daichi with a wild grin. He hung off of Asahi’s shoulder, one hand around the man’s upper arm, the other clutching a full drink he likely did not need, judging by how he wobbled.  
  
Tanaka’s voice was slightly teasing, but too loud. Before Daichi had a chance to hush him, with words or physical violence he wasn’t sure, he caught the familiar glint of gray out of the corner of his eye. A warm hand pressed against Daichi’s broad thigh as Suga leaned into him, he felt each fingertip burn into him like a brand, and the words Suga whispered against his ear were thick with alcohol.  
  
“Can I talk to you? Somewhere… not here?”  
  
Daichi nodded, mind racing. Had Suga heard what Tanaka said? Oh god. Had Suga heard what _he_ had said? Was he upset? Was he going to give Daichi the “we’re good friends but I don’t see you like that” speech? Was Daichi about to lose something he’d never even had?  
  
But before he could go into full-blown panic, the searing heat that had been burning a hole through his jeans, racing swiftly upward, was gone. Suga’s hand moved to his forearm as he all but dragged Daichi outside.  
  
He looked down at Suga worriedly, breaking the other man’s grip as he reached his hands out to rub gently against Suga’s exposed upper arms. It was so cold out here. He had the fleeting thought of hoping Suga would at least let him down quickly before the smaller man froze to death.  
  
Chilled fingertips squeezed against his wrist lightly. Daichi looked up, meeting Suga’s bright eyes. They were a touch unfocused, just a little glazed, and his slightly parted lips matched the red of his cheeks in the chill of the winter night. He was beautiful like this, he was beautiful in just about every way, but something about the glow of his eyes and the flush of his cheeks had Daichi reaching up to run a thumb across one cheekbone.  
  
He stopped halfway through the motion as he heard his name, and his eyes darted across the road.  
  
Ennoshita had come to join them – a surprise, and generally not an unwelcome one, save for the timing of his arrival. Daichi waved once as his old friend approached, and he exchanged distracted pleasantries, unable to pull his thoughts away from how Suga had started to shiver slightly. Suga only nodded tightly once at their old friend, an oddly stilted gesture. As Ennoshita finally ducked inside to find Asahi and Tanaka, Daichi’s gaze dragged back down to his companion, barely shorter than him, their difference in height just enough that Suga only had to tip his head up a little for their breath to mingle with the taste of alcohol.  
  
Daichi remembered his concerns for the briefest of moments, the knot in his stomach having no time to reform before everything was wiped out at the sudden supernova of Suga’s lips crashing against his.  
  
_Holy shit._  
  
The shock of the moment had him frozen to the spot only for a second before Daichi’s arms were around Suga, wrapping him tight and pulling him close against his chest. Suga let out a tiny squeak of surprise, before turning his head and parting his lips, inviting Daichi in. It didn’t take a second invitation. Daichi’s tongue swept across Suga’s, feeling the shudder run down the other man’s body and a visceral sort of triumph surged through him. He licked into Suga’s mouth further, swallowing the moan from Suga’s soft throat.  
  
He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, maybe it was days, but they finally broke apart as a loud _WHOOP_ sounded from inside the bar.  
  
Three familiar faces crowded the front window. Tanaka cheered, his phone clenched tight in the fist he pumped fist into the air as his other arm flexed tight around Ennoshita’s neck, looking close to strangling him in his enthusiasm. Ennoshita grinned ear to ear, clinking his mug a little too enthusiastically against Asahi’s, who looked to be crying and muttering something that looked suspiciously like “you idiots” over and over to himself.  
  
Suga and Daichi saw none of it. They had broken apart only enough to press their foreheads together, their breaths laboured. Suga smiled, looking dazed and a little nervous, and the sweet hopefulness of the expression was like an entire parade of lights in Daichi’s chest. A breath escaped him at the relief he felt, like a dam had been broken open inside of him. He leaned in again, pressing a swift kiss against Suga’s slightly swollen lips before pulling back with a grin. Suga’s smile dimmed briefly, and Daichi saw the apology hovering on the edge of his lips.  
  
He spoke before Suga could gather himself. This was his chance. There couldn’t be any confusion between them, not now. His voice was clear, his eyes unwavering from Suga’s face.  
  
“Suga, I love you.”  
  
The smaller man pulled back now, eyes wide. His mouth parted a little before he huffed out.  
  
“You –– what?”  
  
Daichi smiled fondly, one hand coming from around Suga’s waist to cup his cheek. His thumb brushed the beauty mark just below Suga’s eye.  
  
“I love you. I think I have, for a very long time.”  
  
Suga’s eyes popped a little at that, and he ducked his head a moment, staring at the trampled snow between them. Daichi’s warm hand hadn’t moved from where it rested against his cheek as he looked up again. Suga’s gaze was soft as he chuckled wetly.  
  
“I–I had a whole confession planned.” He sounded apologetic.  
  
Now it was Daichi’s turn to stutter. “W–what?”  
  
Suga gave a short laugh, and it verged on the edge of hysterical as his own hand came up to try hide the flush spreading across his cheeks. “I – I had a confession planned. I’ve been carrying it in my wallet for years, and –” he leaned forward, resting his head on Daichi’s shoulder, his voice thick as it dropped to a rough whisper, “oh god, Daichi I love you, too.”  
  
Daichi couldn’t stop smiling now, even as Suga gasped suddenly and fumbled in his pocket for his phone with a breathless, “I have to call Oikawa!”  
  
He tucked his hands under his arms as Suga frantically punched the speed dial on his phone. He finally noticed both the cold and the incessant knocking sound of knuckles on glass and turned towards the bar window to find pure mischief on Tanaka’s face as he pointed excitedly to his phone. Asahi looked faint, and when Daichi met Ennoshita’s apologetic gaze, the other man shrugged as if to say “nothing I could do about it”. His own phone buzzed in his pocket then, and he pulled it out with a frown.  
  
_IT HAPPENED_ _(10:48 pm)_

 **tanaka-senpai:** FINALLY!!!!!  
**tanaka-senpai:** [See video attachment.]  
**grand king oikawa:** OH MY GOD, SUGA U DIDN’T CALL ME  
**suga-r:** I JUST TRIED ?!  
**grand king oikawa:** I WAS …. doing stuff  
**grand king oikawa:** CALL ME NOW  
**Iwaizumi:** I’m “stuff”.  
**Iwaizumi:** So, this is what Trashkawa was screaming about.  
**Iwaizumi:** Congratulations, Daichi!  
**Iwaizumi:** Crappykawa, give them some privacy.  
**grand king oikawa:** DO U EVEN KNOW HOW LONG I WAITED FOR THIS  
**Hinata!!!:** MY DADS, I AM SOBBING  
**Kageyama Tobio:** Congratulations!  
**applepie:** wow. finally, seriously.  
**kurocat:** AHH, DAICHI MY MAN!!! GET ‘EM!  
**applepie:** kuro, i bet my ass suga initiated it.  
**kurocat:** oh, if your ass is on the line i’m on  
**grand king oikawa:** THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE YOU PERVERT  
**Hinata!!!:** im not a child  
  
_**grand king oikawa, Hinata!!!, Kageyama Tobio are typing…**_

Daichi refused to look at the rest of the nonsense happening in group chat. He’d save that for later tonight or tomorrow or never. He heard a yelp of laughter from next to him and looked down at Suga’s phone, now open to the incriminating video evidence.  
  
His hand brushed the back of his neck sheepishly as he turned back to face Suga.  
  
“Is now a bad time to ask if you’ll be my boyfriend?”  
  
The answering laughter chased away any lingering cold he might have felt.  
  
***  
  
Everything had changed since that last night at the bar. Eyewitness – specifically Tanaka’s – accounts had referred to it as “slutty”, even, but Suga preferred to recount it as “bold”.  
  
Whatever it was, Daichi hadn’t stopped thinking about it.  
  
They’d spent the rest of that night with Suga on Daichi’s lap, an arm around his shoulders, like that was the most natural thing in the world. And maybe it was. Tanaka had pounded both Daichi and Suga on the back enthusiastically, nearly knocking the wind out of them both. Asahi had hugged them, lifting Suga off of his feet and holding Daichi so hard he felt his back crack a little. Ennoshita had simply bought another round for the group, clinking his glasses against theirs with a wide smile.  
  
Everyone’s phones continued to buzz throughout the night, but Daichi had refused to look at the incoming messages. Instead, he’d watched Suga’s face light up, or blush, or break open with a laugh as he read and responded to each text. Instead, Daichi had found himself stretching up to press a kiss against Suga’s cheek or hair frequently, and one hand stayed loosely wrapped around Suga’s waist, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of the other man slipping away. It wasn’t his birthday in another day or so, but he couldn’t imagine a better gift than this.  
  
Over the next few days they’d explained to their families, each bringing the other over for dinner before they had to head back to Tokyo.  
  
Suga’s sister grinned knowingly, and Suga’s dad clapped Daichi on the shoulder hard enough to elicit a cough. Suga’s mom simply reached over the table to grip Suga’s hand in her own, squeezing once.  
  
At the Sawamura household on New Year’s Eve, Daichi’s mother immediately teared up, wrapping Suga in a warm hug that had him fighting back a wet sniff of his own. Daichi’s brother asked teasingly if Daichi would take “Sugawara” or if having two Sugas would be too confusing. Daichi’s sister slyly commented she wouldn’t mind adding another Sawamura to the family. Suga, unsurprisingly, took the teasing in stride, looking wholly unbothered, and maybe even a little pleased.  
  
After dinner, the family brought in a cake with candles to blow out, and something in Daichi’s chest purred as Suga swept a featherlight kiss against his cheek with a whispered, “happy birthday, love”.  
  
On New Years’ Day, they made their way to the shrine, as their tradition held. Suga’s turquoise scarf was nestled around his neck again, and just that morning Daichi had dragged his old military–green coat out of the hall closet – somehow he had forgotten to bring the nice leather one Suga had gotten him for his birthday last year from their apartment. The old jacket was a little tighter around his shoulders now, but when he saw the sentimentality lighting Suga’s eyes at the sight of it Daichi realized he didn’t mind the fit.  
  
This year as they walked from the Sawamura house to the town’s center, instead of walking side by side with arms and hands bumping conspicuously, they walked together with one of Daichi’s strong arms slung across Suga’s shoulders. They laughed and teased as they always did, but this time it was with Suga’s lips brushing Daichi’s ear or Daichi murmuring softly into Suga’s starlight hair.  
  
Suga even managed to draw up his courage and show Daichi his written fortune/confession from so many years ago. The symbols of the daikichi were written smoothly as well as one short sentence:  
  
**“Excellent Luck would be mine, if you’d like to go on a date sometime?”**  
  
Suga blushed as Daichi read it aloud.  
  
“It sounds so stupid now,” he moaned in embarrassment, burying his face in his hands and leaning into Daichi’s shoulder.  
  
Daichi wrapped an arm gently around Suga’s shoulders again, pressing a kiss against his temple.  
  
“Not stupid, and for whatever it’s worth I’d love to go on a date with you.” His grin turned sly as he added, “As long as it ends with you nearly mauling me outside of a respectable establishment again.”  
  
The sound of the indignant gasp had Daichi chuckling as he nuzzled his nose into soft grey hair.  
  
“Fine,” Suga sniffed primly, not moving from where he had tucked himself against the other man, “but you’re paying.”  
  
Daichi’s answering laugh rolled over him like warm summer thunder, and Suga didn’t think he’d ever stop loving how it felt to be pressed against that broad chest.  
  
***  
  
They were back in the car again, Daichi behind the wheel. His strong hands gripped the steering wheel firmly – well, one of them did. The other was firmly grasped in his co–pilot’s smaller hand. Daichi brought Suga’s hand, the one holding onto his own, up to his lips. He received a soft grumble in response. It was still too early in the drive for Suga to be fully awake, but Daichi didn’t mind, he never had. He loved petulant–morning Suga just as much as he loved snuggly–evening Suga.  
  
The song on his shuffle switched, and he hummed along softly. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw Suga’s soft smile as he sipped from his thermos.  
  
He paused in his humming to ask, “Do you actually like this song?”  
  
Suga hummed a note thoughtfully before responding.  
  
“No– well, I don’t hate it. I just like your humming. It’s always been, I don’t know, soothing I guess?”  
  
Daichi felt his ears’ tip red.  
  
“Oh. Thank you.”  
  
The smile turned intimate as Suga looked down to his lap, adding, “Your humming and my perfectly–made coffee have always been my favorite things to wake up to.”  
  
Daichi let Suga shift back into silence at that, having nothing to say in response that wouldn’t be embarrassingly saccharine. He squeezed the fingers laced between his own instead and tried to swallow down the thick affection coating his throat.  
  
***  
  
More than halfway through the drive, Suga chanced a look over at the man in the passenger seat. He looked the same as he did on the drive up to Miyagi. Strong, content, almost unbearably handsome in his easy confidence. Suga felt his heart skip a little at the reminder that this man was his now. He soaked in a little of that aura of certainty and took a deep breath before broaching the subject that had gotten them to this point in the first place.  
  
“Hey, Dai.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Want to look at houses with me?”  
  
Daichi turned to look at him in full, but Suga only risked a quick moment to meet his eyes. It wasn’t enough to fully disclose all the thoughts flying through Daichi’s mind but Suga thought he could see hope and apprehension there. His partner’s deep voice came out hesitatingly, as if he was trying not to startle Suga by speaking too quickly.  
  
“Are… are you sure? We don’t have to. We can stay right where we’re at.”  
  
Suga looked intently at the road ahead. He knew what Daichi was offering, knew that this selfless man was genuinely okay with taking things exactly as slow or as fast as Suga wanted, because that’s always been Daichi’s way – putting Suga’s needs at the forefront. He gave a quick nod.  
  
“I’m sure.”  
  
Daichi hummed, and Suga allowed himself another furtive glance.  
  
“But, what do you think about buying instead of leasing?”  
  
Daichi went still, his eyes not moving from Suga’s face. He didn’t say anything, but Suga felt the question in the air between them.  
  
“I guess, now that we’re…” Suga trailed off, smiling a little dreamily.  
  
Daichi quirked up a half–grin.  
  
“Boyfriends?” he supplied wryly.  
  
“Yeah,” Suga said, his smile brightening to rival the glare of the sun on the snow outside. “Now that we’re together, I thought maybe we’d look for a house instead of just another place to live.”  
  
“That feels pretty permanent, you’re okay with that?”  
  
Suga gave a small shrug, shifting a little in his seat. “It would make it easier to have Kuroo and Kenma over for dinner, or host Oikawa when he visits.”  
  
Daichi frowned a little, “If it’s about convenience we can just get a bigger apartment, or look for condos.”  
  
Gray hair swayed softly.  
  
“No, no. I – I’m not explaining this well.” Suga’s sigh came out in a little frustrated gust as his hand brushed his hair back from his face. His eyes stayed focused in front of him as his jaw set firmly before speaking again.  
  
“Dai, I’ve been in love with you since we were fifteen. I never wanted a house and a yard or all of that unless it was with you. Really with you... like we are now.” He paused and reached a hand out, sighing as Daichi’s warm palm slid into his easily. “But, a house or an apartment or a condo or whatever… they’re all just places in the end.”  
  
He glanced sideways, softening as he smiled almost shyly.  
  
“You’re what makes a place ‘home’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *lips on mic* I am guilty of so much fluff, your Honor pls take me away
> 
> \---
> 
> AGAIN huge love to  Fin-kun  for the rapid-fire shouting in my Google Doc comments and  my Fireheart  for the nonstop encouragement. And yeah still more shouts to the HQ Discord for generally ruining my life. I will never look at soup the same (or maybe ever) again.
> 
> Find me on Twitter @ChaoticFriendly if you wanna shout stuff at me  
> (NEXT week, the epilogue that I'm already regretting making!)


	3. Home Wreckers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group chat goes wild

_IT HAPPENED (10:48 pm) _

**tanaka-senpai:** FINALLY!!!!!  
**tanaka-senpai:** [See video attachment.]  
**grand king oikawa:** OH MY GOD, SUGA U DIDN’T CALL ME  
**suga-r:** I JUST TRIED ?!  
**grand king oikawa:** I WAS …. doing stuff  
**grand king oikawa:** CALL ME NOW  
**Iwaizumi:** I’m “stuff”.  
**Iwaizumi:** So, this is what Trashkawa was screaming about.  
**Iwaizumi:** Congratulations, Daichi!  
**Iwaizumi:** Crappykawa, give them some privacy.  
**grand king oikawa:** DO U EVEN KNOW HOW LONG I WAITED FOR THIS  
**Hinata!!!:** MY DADS, I AM SOBBING  
**Kageyama Tobio:** Congratulations!  
**applepie:** wow. finally, seriously.  
**kurocat:** AHH, DAICHI MY MAN!!! GET ‘EM!  
**applepie:** kuro, i bet my ass suga initiated it.  
**kurocat:** oh, if your ass is on the line i’m on  
**grand king oikawa:** THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE YOU PERVERT  
**Hinata!!!:** im not a child  
  
**grand king oikawa, Hinata!!!, Kageyama Tobio** are typing…

**Hinata!!!:** but i want to sleep between them when i have a nightmare  
**sweetpotatoguchi:** you guysssssss, congrats! this is so sweet!  
**grand king oikawa:** chibi-chan, your age is irrelevant, you are and and will remain *an innocent*  
**Kageyama Tobio:** boke is not “*an innocent*”. trust me.  
**Kageyama Tobio:** I need to sleep now, just wanted to congratulate you guys once more.  
**tanaka-senpai:** okay but lets focus on the fact that these two finally made it  
**grand king oikawa:** EXCUSE YOU, TOBIO-CHAN, WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR PRECIOUS CHIBI-CHAN  
**kurocat:** oikawa, shut it  
**grand king oikawa:** IWA–CHAN KUROO IS SO MEAN TO ME.  
**Iwaizumi:** and I stand by him.  
**Iwaizumi:** by Kuroo, if I hadn’t made that clear.  
**grand king oikawa:** oh mY GOD  
**hootokuto:** HEY HEY HEY CONGRATTTSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Is Suga a good kisser?  
**Akaashi:** Bokuto-san! Sorry about him, but yes, congrats you two!  
**actually jesus:** Guys, please. Just let them have like 5 minutes??  
**grand king oikawa:** No <3  
**actually jesus:** Who assigned this nickname to me?  
**suga-r:** oikawa stop fighting your fiancé and pick up your damn phone  
**suga-r:** asahi i did, also tobio you’re too cute, thank you bb xx  
**grand king oikawa:** only for you, sugababe  
**grand king oikawa:** but i will return and take revenge upon you two fools  
**kurocat:** i’d love to see you try  
**applepie:** i stand with oikawa  
**applepie:** i can personally confirm kuro is a pervert  
**kurocat:** kitten, you wound me  
**Rolling Thunder:** CONGRATS YOU GUYS EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT YOU’VE BEEN DATING SINCE YOUR SECOND YEAR ?????  
**grand king oikawa:** i’m on the phone but ily ken-chan thank u  
**saltyshima:** Jesus christ, Noya-san.  
**saltyshima:** Anyways, congrats, parents. Took you long enough.  
**saltyshima:** Also wanted to second that Kuroo is a pervert.  
**Ennoshita:** GUYS LET THEM LIVE, JESUS. Tanaka, we’re going to have words about PRIVACY here real soon.  
**tanaka-senpai:** WHAT, AND LET EVERYONE MISS ON THIS BEAUTIFUL SCENE? WHERE IS YOUR HEART?  
**Hinata!!!:** i’m honestly in tears, don’t touch me i’m soft  
**grand king oikawa:** nobody’s touching you because tobio-kun isn’t in japan  
**kurocat:**  
**suga-r:**  
**Iwaizumi:** Oikawa.  
**grand king oikawa:** WHAT HE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD US HE WASN’T A KID ANYMORE  
**hootokuto:** SOOO, NOBODY TALKING ABOUT HOW SUGA KISSES  
**actually jesus:** This chat is just. What is this  
**Akaashi:** I’m sorry about this, it’s past his normal bedtime so it’s a little hectic here.  
**grand king oikawa:** he’s asking the real questions tho. but i can confirm on thighchi’s behalf thaTAUIFHSGUNJNksjflb90*  
**Iwaizumi:** Sorry, took a second to get the phone from him. He’s such a lanky mf.  
**Iwaizumi:** Rest well, friends.

[Cut for length.]

_IT HAPPENED (02:36 am)_

**Sawamura Daichi:** What the fuck you guys. Go to sleep.  
**suga(r):** Captain, language!  
**grand king oikawa:** will you call him captain in bed, asking for a friend  
**Iwaizumi:** SHUT UP CRAPPYKAWA.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND there it is, the final VERY self-indulgent chapter of a very self-indulgent fic. Thank you for reading and for existing in general!   
> And as always, shouts to my people, specifically:  Fin-kun  and  my Fireheart 
> 
> Feel free to yell at me in the comments or on Twitter  @ChaoticFriendly 

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thanks to  Fin-kun  , as well as  Deeniebabie  , and  my Fireheart  , without whom this fic would not exist. Also shouts to the HQ Discord Chaos for existing and being a constant source of encouragement. 
> 
> Find me on Twitter  @ChaoticFriendly  if you wanna shout some stuff at me  
> (AND stay tuned next week for the next chapter)


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